Saturday, November 5, 2016

VISIONS OF LOVE

Hawaii

God the air smelled good. I remember that. We popped off the plane and headed to the Hilton in Waikiki. Checked in and hungry, we walked off to find something unique to eat.

Our trek took us across the street to a tourist destination that was filled with people looking for warmth and Mai Tais.

As we descended a staircase to the beach, I noticed Ken was having trouble planting his feet and seemed off balance. It was the first time I ever noticed how his sight was affecting his life.

I reached for his hand and tried to help, but the bottom line is when you are full sighted, you miss the cues, you stumble in your ability to help your partner. It would be a couple of years before I truly understood what was happening with my man and his crystal blue eyes I have always adored.

Feelings are one thing, but action is another. I learned to take my time when we walked down streets together and to look for obstacles that could create a problem. I notice cracks in the pavement and tell him what to expect with the next staircase.

I became his chauffeur whenever I could, lessening his worry over traffic and busy streets. I drove him to his surgeries and waited patiently but anxiously for the report. I took him to his follow up appointments at the U of M and met the brilliant Dr. Wright. I bought him flashlights at the hardware store where I worked and read all I could about coping with low vision.

I see how our hands do not meet when trying to pass an object, like a glass or maybe a picture. I do everything I can to meet his needs, but I told him early on that I would never understand.

I will never look through his damaged eyes or try to walk in his hesitant steps.  What I can do is listen and learn and remember to laugh in the face of tragedy. Together, we are sight and light.

Linda Carter


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